Patience on How to accompany the woman in pregnancy
Although it is the woman who carries the baby in her belly for nine months, the father’s place is as important as the mother’s, because it complements it. Containment, companionship, patience and listening are some of the virtues to put into practice. Concentrating on the physical and psychological needs of the woman will help the father to live his fatherhood more fully.
Although dads play a vital role throughout the pregnancy, it is in the third trimester that they begin to play a fundamental role in the accompaniment of the future mother. With the growth of the belly and next birth , the arrival of the baby is already a close reality and the dads who still did not realize that they expected a child, usually begin to be more participatory.
The third trimester of pregnancy is marked by the size that the woman’s body acquires and by the anxiety about the delivery and the future baby. The belly grows rapidly, which implies – in most cases – not sleeping well, feeling fatigue when walking and breathing difficulties. In some cases, hypertension, fluid retention and / or back pain due to weight gain may also occur. Therefore, as the arrival of the baby approaches and the preparations for the birth are necessary, the place of the father becomes very important to give comfort and tranquility to the future mother.
Attendance at pre-school talks, help at home and active participation in issues related to the baby by the future dad, will make the woman cope better with the discomfort of the third trimester and face a happy delivery.
The emotions of the future dad before the imminent birth
“In this last time of my wife’s pregnancy I am happy, anxious and, the truth is that I am also … scared,” says his first-time dad Andrés Aroles from Centreville OBGYN.
The future parents live this stage with many doubts because although physically they do not feel changes or discomforts, the future worries them. The economic issue related to the upbringing of the child, its performance in childbirth, fear for the health of his wife and how it will change their marriage after the arrival of the baby, are some of the issues that hover over their heads. It is always recommended to express the concerns and use the space provided by the pre-release course to clear up doubts and share fears, so that they gain strength and can be a support for their woman.
The emotions of the future mom with respect to the father
It is known that the pregnant woman goes through different moods throughout her pregnancy. For men it is difficult to interpret the subtleties and details in a woman’s moods. That is why it is important to maintain a fluid and sincere dialogue. Without concealments.
After this stage, Isabel Jutterpeker remembers that, although she had gained 20 kilos, that she saw her legs as “elephant legs” due to fluid retention and that her shoes no longer fit, she loved it when her husband I said something nice: “I praised the color of the clothes or how I had some clothes made me feel very good, because I was very uncomfortable with my body.” However, he manifested an unspeakable desire and consisted in having chosen for himself something for the baby, even if it was a batita; I would have liked it Instead, he felt that he always delegated decisions to her. “From the arrangement of the bassinet, to the clothes, I would have liked to share these things with him.”
A companion husband will not only be a great support in this stage for the psychological needs of the pregnant woman, but also in her practical needs – her role to ensure a good rest and relieve her when necessary or supplant her in some of her tasks will be key. Therefore, despite all the difficulties that arise in this period, it is worth sharing these moments as they will finally receive the baby together.
Some suggestions that future dads can put into practice:
- Go to the prepartum course together, to informative talks or to gymnastics classes for pregnant women and go to the consults with the obstetrician.
- Procure physical relief for the future mother: massage her, relieve her in housework and give her rest opportunities.
- Share decisions and offer help in everything related to the arrival of the baby: participate in the choice of clothes or in the decoration of the room.
- Listen when the future mom expresses her feelings and needs: this will help her to alleviate tensions (since some men find it difficult to “guess” what a pregnant woman feels).
- Talking or singing to the baby when he is in the belly is a good way to connect with him and helps the father to become aware of the situation. Once the birth occurs, the presence of the father will be recognized by the baby through his voice and can calm his crying.
- Talk a lot with your wife, the obstetrician and with whom you lead the pre-birth course.
- Have a lot of patience and understanding towards the pregnant woman. The emotionality of the woman is very close to the skin and this makes her very susceptible.
- He has to exercise a “diplomatic” role between his wife and the environment: solving last-minute or stressful situations for the pregnant woman is fundamental.
- Focusing on your woman’s physical and psychological needs during this stage will help her fulfill a very important role in labor.
The professionals who teach the pre-release courses have to convey to the parents that they are also protagonists and key players in this process, and give them confidence that they will perform their fatherhood well.
Couple’s life during the third quarter
Many future parents worry about the impact of sex during the third trimester. However, it is important that they know that they do not negatively affect the baby, just the opposite. Everything that does good to the mother, does the baby good. Yes you have to have a lot of imagination to find suitable positions that do not bother the pregnant woman. In addition to the beneficial consequences derived from the psychophysical well-being of the future dads due to sexual contact, the semen contains prostanglandins that help mature the cervix. When the delivery is delayed, the sexual relations collaborate in which this approaches. In any case, the doctor’s endorsement is necessary and there is no contraindication on your part to have sex at this stage of pregnancy. Maybe, you’re interested in reading Sexuality and pregnancy.
It can also happen that the future mother does not feel comfortable with her body and is not fully willing to have them. In this case, comprehension is recommended, as well as it is convenient to anticipate the father who, after the birth, to resume sexual life will take a while since the mother probably will not have the strength or desire to face her. Much love and a little imagination were advised so that at this stage the sexual life would be pleasant for both members of the couple and that conflicts and misunderstandings over this issue would be avoided.